I often get asked what part of California I live in and I always respond that I don’t live in California. Not at the moment at least. I lived in San Diego for a while not too long ago and I have family and friends in Oakland, Los Angeles and San Diego. But at the moment I’m stuck in New York, working my ass off trying to get back west. Despite the fact that I was born and raised in New York, I’ve never once felt at home in New York. Never felt like I belonged and never felt like I could be truly happy here in New York. Not ever.
New York is a large and truly wonderful city with many opportunities and many things to do…if you have money. It can also be dangerous and overwhelming. It is true that this city is a Microcosm of the world as a whole. You can guess with some level of certainty what nationality a person is just by knowing what neighborhood they grew up in. I don’t know of any other city that you can do that in. You can find food from all over the world. There are a lot of hidden gems and you can live here your entire life and never see everything there is to see in this city. I am not denying all the wonderful things this city has to offer. But New York is not citizen-friendly and if it weren’t that I had a very supportive family here…I’d be f-ed too.
I’ve worked as a bartender for quite a few years now and I’ve gotten the chance to work with many different types of people. People that I became good friends with right away. But the one kind of person that I’ve worked with that has always boggled made me scratch my head are the young women from Bumblefack, America. And I’ll tell you why.
I’ve worked alongside and met many pretty and talented young women that came to New York with a dream. Which is admirable and I commend them for following their dreams, but I feel it is incredibly naive and detrimental to them reaching their goals. Girls who have dreams of becoming actresses in movies and on Broadway. They leave their homes in Suburban Ohio or Wisconsin, Texas, etc… They don’t know what they get themselves into. They find themselves living in Harlem or Washington Heights, The Bronx or Bed Stuy. Definitely not in Kansas anymore, Toto. They come here and take jobs as waitresses working 6 days a week just to be able to afford their crappy hole in the wall apartment. Either that or they’re sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with 5 other people. They work hard 6 days a week and the only day off they get is spent sleeping or doing laundry. Fast forward a few years down the line and they are still struggling, only having been on a handful of unsuccessful auditions in their time here. Is that worth it? Many that I’ve spoke to have told me terrible stories about how they’ve been taken advantage of, mugged, beaten up, even raped in their new neighborhoods. Things they definitely never expected to happen here. Is that worth it?
In these days of social media and the internet, you can get global exposure from anywhere. You want to be a film actor? Get some friends together and produce a short film then put it up on Youtube. Keep doing that, build your acting chops and a following. It’ll be seen. Maybe your goal is to be an actor on Broadway. Take singing and acting classes in your area, get better at your art. Perform in local shows in your area. Don’t have any? Produce one yourself. Keep up on auditions and the New York scene. And when you feel you’re ready and found an audition you want to go for, book a trip to NY for a few days to do so. I guarantee that a trip to NY for a couple of days is far less money than you would spend on a s–thole apartment. And you’d enjoy it more.
A few years ago I had the chance to meet a lovely young women while coming on from work on the L train. She was singing and playing guitar so I removed my ear buds and gave her a listen. Despite that fact that she was a pretty girl playing guitar, I’ve never done that for any subway performer because most of them are super annoying. Nobody wants to listen to live Mariachi music on the train after a long day at work. Everybody just wants to kill them by the end of their song. But I digress, this girl was good. And I got the chance to talk to her for a bit and ultimately became friends with her. Originally from Ohio, she moved to New York a few years back. She’s busting her ass and is doing pretty well for herself. She just finished her debut EP a few weeks ago. Despite that, I know it isn’t easy and it’s definitely a struggle for her too.
I read a short article a few weeks back in the Huffington Post about Patti Smith talking about how New York has shut itself to young artists. And as a musician myself, I couldn’t agree more. She said “New York has closed itself off to the young and the struggling. But there are other cities. Detroit. Poughkeepsie. New York City has been taken away from you. So my advice is: Find a new city”. My feelings are this: If you want to move to New York to experience life in the big city, get away from Bumblefack, Michigan for a while. That’s fine. Go for it, good luck. But if you’re moving here solely to try and make it as a musician or actor, you’re better off staying where you are. You have the same likelihood of making it from there as you do here. Only difference is you’ll struggle far more here.
New York doesn’t care about it’s people. Everything is expensive far beyond what many can afford. Prices rise, but incomes don’t. Got a car? Good luck finding a parking spot when you get home from work. If gas doesn’t break the bank for you, insurance will. Oh you parked an inch into this here driveway…we’re gonna tow your car away and you have to pay us hundreds to get it back. But wait! It’s Friday evening and the lot is closed weekends. Guess you’re gonna have to take off work Monday to come get it and pay for the whole weekend your car was in the lot. That’s fine, I’ll just take the train! Well leave it to the MTA to hike prices higher and higher everyday damn year for service that doesn’t seem to get much better. How can an agency that steals so much money from us daily be in so much debt?! What’s left? Well you can ride a bike around. Sure if you don’t ride around and act exactly like a car, you’ll be stopped and given a hefty ticket. That it if a cab doesn’t run you off the road first.
People ask me why I want to live in California so much when California’s economy is so bad. That may be so (and frankly shit is bad everywhere) but at least I know and can truly enjoy life being there. I’m only speaking for myself here but I enjoy being outdoors a lot. Riding bike, running, swimming, hiking, etc… I can do all that out there anytime I want. If I want to go to the beach here I either have to spend two hours on the train going to a part of Brooklyn I don’t like or hope one of my friends with a car wants to drive all the way out to Long Island just to enjoy the ocean. Again, these are just my personal feelings. And my feeling is that while New York will always be where I was born and raised, it isn’t really home for me in my heart. And I hope that all those aspiring young talents that move here on a whim or to chase a dream seriously reconsider and know what they’re getting themselves into. Alicia Keys said that New York is a “concrete jungle where dreams are made of”…New York will chew you up, spit you out and not care about you because there are many more like you. My advice is simple. I’m not telling you not to chase your dreams. Absolutely you should! But why put yourself into poverty if you don’t have to. The concept of the “starving artist” is stupid, one I’ve always hated too.
