Feeling like everyday you are doing something for everyone in your life?
Do you feel like the walls are caving in on you because you burden the ability to be nice to everyone, by helping too many at one time? This feeling is mutual on all levels. I am one of those people who do, do, do for others with no benefits and no questions asked.
Why must people walk all over the nice ones?
Are people just that ignorant to not realize that life doesn’t get handed to them on a silver platter? The fact that you make yourself the easy target doesn’t help your case. It allows people to believe that they can ask you to do anything and you will do it.
What’s going on in head of the person you’re helping is “oh he or she won’t mind, they help me with anything.” If you didn’t hear that from the person you’re helping, or feel like they don’t appreciate you the way they should for helping them, wouldn’t you just stop being that nice person? No, you don’t stop being that person it’s the way you are. You are better person for being a very polite person.
My life is full of disappointment because I allow others to get under my skin. For example, I have had co-workers in the past who have repeatedly called off work. What was going through their head was probably, “Oh Amanda will work because she needs the money and has nothing else better to do than work all day everyday.” My answer: SURE I’d love to work a 12 hour day so you can go hang out with your boyfriend….. NOT! I’m a nice person so I don’t allow what is really going on in my brain to personally come out on that person. I mean yeah it happens, but its totally not worth my time.
My friends are the same way. They ask for help and don’t give it in return, which I am okay with, to an extent. When it comes to helping others out, I’ll be there for me, just as long as you’ll help me out when I have something going on. Don’t pretend that you have other plans or you get mad to the point you’re freaking out on me when I need you to be there. My problem is the word “no,” because I allow these people to walk all over me. I don’t think “no” is in my vocabulary.
The feeling I get when I’m alone and I need someone is like being trapped in a castle, no longer able to see civilization until someone needs me again. Giving to others does not mean getting back, but when it is family or friends they should be willing like yourself to give. Isn’t that why you have friends and family? They’re supposed to be there for you.
Sometimes it takes you to be the bigger person and getting off your high horse to realize it is okay to help others even though you’re getting nothing in return.
I definitely need to learn this lesson, because I love to help others, by babysitting, listening, being there for others– but sometimes I feel when I help I should get the same respect and get the same amount of help if I need it. My lesson in giving is the way to go and to not be ungrateful.
When you need help and are walked all over every day one you have two decisions: you can help that person and not worry about needing the help yourself, or just say NO for once and explain your concern to the person walking all over you.
