Apple iPhone 5S/5C disappoints with lack of innovation

Fast-forward to the present, and now Apple revealed the golden iPhone. And the plastic iPhone....

There was a time when Apple unveiled the iPhone, and single handedly revolutionized the entire phone industry, making the smartphone the standard. In an instant, all the Nokia and Motorola’s hip texting phones suddenly looked so 2006 (the year before the first iPhone’s release).

Apple unveiled the Apple iphone 5S and iPhone 5C in lackluster fashion.

Apple unveiled the Apple iphone 5S and iPhone 5C in lackluster fashion.

Then there was a time when Apple unveiled the iPad. Unlike when they revolutionized the cell phone, this was arguably more of a technological shake-up because it introduced the tablet, a completely new device that is now technological norm, even if it’s redundant (be honest – it’s just an oversized smartphone).

Fast-forward to the present, and now Apple revealed the golden iPhone. And the plastic iPhone.

The issue here isn’t that Apple makes bad products, because they don’t. Their computers are excellent, and while their phones are arguably behind Android phones, the iPhone is nonetheless an admirable phone that runs on quality software.

Instead the issue lies in the concept of innovation – something which Apple used to lead with a merciless charm of a bug zapper. Even if you didn’t want to, you found yourself mesmerized by their products, drawn in and then zapped by the death kiss of Steve Job’s works of art.

That Apple, however, is now behind the great smartphone race. Just look at the, er, latest and greatest they have to offer, the 5S and the 5C. Let’s start with the unessential 5C.

The 5C is literally the iPhone 5 trapped in a plastic body, boasting “Five anything but shy colors,” according to Apple, for the classic expired-Apple-product price of $100 (although now you can get the stripped-down, 8 GB version of the 4S for free). No need for further details because it’s the literally the 5, but this time “for the colorful” (another Apple tagline).

Now, the 5S has some fresh features, like the gold-colored option. It’s made of the same soft, easily-scratched aluminum body as the 5, so you’ll keep that shiny gold all safe and sound under an ugly pink Otterbox, smothering its beauty. Or you could buy Apple’s new special case that’s slim as spandex and will offer no drop or screen protection and shatter that delicate screen. Physically, the body is the exact same as the 5.

But seriously, there are some positive new features such as powerful A7-chip with a 64-bit architecture, M7 motion co-sensor that gerken blerken glug glug loren elipsilum blogum melgrud glipswitch-mcFinny gelsen-kurchen gerkensquad (for most people that is what the first part of the sentence sounded like, so why finish it?). The important thing to understand that this is the best new feature of the 5S, as it truly is spectacular. Not only is it considerably more powerful than its predecessor, but keep in mind the context of the iOS system, which plays a big part here. iOS has never required an Android-style quad-core processor because it’s fundamentally a different structure that truly runs silky-smooth. Furthermore, the structure of the processor is supposed to alleviate the battery’s workload, which could be its second best feature.

And now it’s getting even more powerful, which will mean that games and powerful apps will run smoother. Furthermore, the camera claims to have a sensor that is larger by 15 percent, which if true is impressive, being that the iPhone 5, along with the Samsung Galaxy S4, and Nokia Lumina 920 and 1020, currently have the best phone cameras. Remember, it’s the sensor in a camera, not the pixels, that makes a camera great.

Finally, sneaking in is the fingerprint-scanning security technology, Touch ID (thank goodness it’s not called iTouch), which allows you to unlock the phone via your fingerprints. Signing into the App Store and iTunes can be done by a tap of your thumb. Let’s just hope the button doesn’t scratch (it’s promised not to, but…). Unfortunately, Apple confirmed that developers won’t be able to integrate Touch ID technology into apps for the unforeseen future.

Sometimes, famous singers abuse their fame and spew out nonsensical and/or vile lyrics just because they are literally so famous they can get away with anything (Think Lil’ Wayne, Nikki Minaj and modern Eminem). Regardless if they’re “attracted to her – for her attractive ass,” going “boom, ba-doom, boom, boom” or about to “grow [their] beard out, just weird out and go berserk” – these are actual lyrics – it’s utterly phony. At one time they were unique, but no longer. But people still buy it, and these artist’s managers know they will.

The same concept applies with the latest iPhones. Sure, they have a catchy chorus or beat (that A7 chip or Touch ID), but in the end it’s uninspired and lazy – there is no longer innovation. Colorful phones have been claimed already by Windows. Plastic phones are Samsung’s deal. Multi-tasking and a swipe down command center, which are featured in iOS7, are features that all modern Androids have. Better battery life? Well, Motorola’s RAZR Maxx HD and the Galaxy Note 2 already have that going for them.

In the end Apple knows they will sell these doohickeys, if only because there are teenage girls who wear leggings, North Face Jackets, Ugg boots, have fake blonde hair and listen to Top 40 music. Or those people who buy an iPhone, iPad (with a keyboard) and a Macbook, and take turns giving each one some use throughout the day. Think about that for a second.

A truly innovative iPhone would feature a bigger screen, expandable memory, removable batteries, and advanced multi-tasking (like what’s featured in Samsung’s Galaxy series), and that would only put them on par with Android.

Apple should have revealed the iPhone 6. Instead they revealed the gold iPhone.

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